There is an alarming absence of nice in my world these days. By nice, I don’t mean superficial exchanges of pleasantries to fulfill cultural expectations. I mean genuine kindness that brightens someone’s day, unexpectedly lifts them up, makes them feel connected to others. This is the stuff of real human interaction, the stuff that builds and solidifies relationships, and reminds us that we are not alone. From my no-doubt biased vantage point, I won’t venture a guess as to whether this is unique to my surroundings or common in certain regions or professions, or even a universal trend in society. Regardless of where else it exists (though I’ll venture a guess that it’s pervasive), its toxicity is problematic, and I fear its presence in my world is cause for an abrupt transition.
Is this a new trend? Or have I simply been blissfully ignoring it for some time? With so much change in daily life happening at work and at home for all of us, it’s hard to know which variables to explore. I’ve lived in many places, and there are geographic, cultural differences in how people relate to one another – but that seems too simplistic an explanation. Another candidate is the pandemic’s effect on in-person interactions and forcing of sterile, virtual exchanges. Differences in values, politics, and beliefs have suddenly become intertwined in physical appearance, behavior, and body positioning anywhere outside the home. The separation between home and work has blurred. Many are finding themselves in overwhelming, unprecedented situations on a regular basis. People are raw from the stresses of over a year of pandemic life, fraying their composure. Whatever the source, people seem to have forgotten the necessity of kindness, how it warms and strengthens both the giver and the receiver, forming the basis of healthy human interaction.
A pesky element of this situation is a trendy emphasis on self-care and work-life balance. These buzz words are constantly being force-fed to us from every facet of daily life, sometimes from the very sources that consistently manage to obstruct the use of such burnout-avoiding tools. The irony is thick, because those who peddle these tools seem to be in desperate need of them, yet are the least likely to use or even understand them. Kindness towards the self is first; kindness to others naturally follows. In the inability to truly practice self-care, recognition of kindness has somehow been lost. Even more terrifying is that the current state of things has not caused this lack of genuine care, it has exposed it. This realization has cast a darkness on my world, pushing me in a different direction; where, I’m not sure yet. Resilience to the rampant list of challenges that face us at every level from the individual to societies would be strengthened with renewed practice of true kindness. Will it return?
science shapes lives 